fighting cynicism

so here i am, in a harry potter like college, surrounded by clever people, fed excessively and with the chance to see friends (that is without a doubt one of my biggest treats), but i derail...
when i started university, i knew minute 5 that the topic was not for me, so when i finished my four years (found my best friend along so can't complain) i moved country and studied politics (in short); after several intern type jobs, i landed in my ideal job where i met (more friends and my other half) some very interesting, intelligent and powerful people, also travelled widely around the world and had the chance to encounter and get to know very brave human rights defenders; then decided to do 'the field' as a matter of personal and professional coherence
through all of that experience, i would say that i have become relatively well acquainted with the realities of the world, be it culturally, religiously, politically, economically and that i now have a fairly good idea of how the world (really) works
the trouble is that my idealist side has been punched in the face so many times, cynicism (although a certain amount is needed for survival) is kinda taking hold of me...to the point of rendering me prisoner, and therefore (completely?) ineffective
the professors we have here are trying very hard and to some extent (un)successfully to encourage their students to take up the issue and BELIEVE in (let's call it) the human rights project, not with naivety, but with determination, "it is a long term process" as they say
it is not, by any means, that i don't tend to agree with them, but i really am finding a hard time finding the 'entry point', the motivation, the strength, the will
i am good at what i do, and yet i know i am not being as good as i could be precisely because of this feeling of "and what's that going to change anyway?", namely, precisely the attitude all human rights defenders (hrd) fight against in their societies; so when we are all paranoid about all these terrible terrorist coming to take our wealth and tranquility, some hrd actually get worried about the rights of some of those (think Guantanamo bay, renditions, torture, etc) to the dismay of some (why would anybody care about THEM?)....well....because the principles and what we stand for is what will distinguish the 'civilized' societies (and i use the word with very much cynicism, but that's for another post)..... i derail again
my point? i'm not sure...while i do perfectly realise that cynicism in not the answer, good for me, let alone my job, i really am finding it extremely difficult to see the rosy side of things.....
does anybody have any suggestion?

sobredosis informativa en el regimiento militar

que que hago, que no escribo ni me inspiro! pues a ritmo de regimiento militar, desayunamos a las 8, clases de 9 a 12, comida, clase hasta las 3, charla/ panel a las 5, cena a las 6.30, lecturas/deberes (con libros de 1500 paginas), cama, vuelta a empezar
una sobredosis de informacion, cursos de 1 anho o mas en la universidad condensados en 4 semanas
ya estamos a mitad de curso! y tengo la sensacion de que este reloj de arena va mas rapido que otros! casi me estoy poniendo nerviosa con los examenes, la ultima vez que hice uno se estrellaron aviones contra las torres gemelas.... o sea antes de ayer
l@s compas son interesantes y variopintos, en general jovencit@s, la mayoria de un pais en particular (a veces parece mas otro planeta) de todos los colores y espectros politicos; toda una experiencia sumergirse en la mente de gente tan alejada de la mia y l@s mi@s, en cualquier caso, de todo se aprende! esperemos sea bi-direccional (por la cuenta que nos trae)
los aposentos modestos pero correctisimos, a la vez de una experiencia en si misma (aparecera harry potter a la vuelta de la esquina?), la ciudad muy muy bonita, asi la verdad, se estudia mejor!

my temporary house, just like harry potter

following instructions

A friend posted in his 'caralibro': Wherever you are right now, grab the book nearest you. * Turn to page 56. * Find the fifth sentence. * Post that sentence AS YOUR STATUS. Then post these instructions in a COMMENT on your status. * Don't dig for your favorite book -- use the CLOSEST book.

Mine was: "Capital punishment is now viewed as a human right violation by the European community, and on this ground, Europeans routinely excoriate the United States, where the death penalty remains in force in some jurisdictions....."

visits and voyages

i now sleep, eat and study in a harry potter like environment, minus the magic (photos to follow)
i landed in white human being kingdom from the black human being republic, worlds apart in many more ways than the colour or the type of state

my last days in the black human republic were coloured by a very special visit, the best and most easy going visitors ever: curious, relaxed and accommodating to the circumstances and any plan proposed (MUAK! to both!)
seeing the country, its people and customs through new eyes, and providing mine to theirs
talking, about life, love, ghosts and sins; discussing the ethereal and the human, the past, the present and the future

a brief visit by my other half also coloured those last days before my current harry potter life, a work tainted rediscovery, a ray of sunshine after months of gloomy days, a wink for a future, still to be worked out, a smile in my face

my welcome to the white kingdom was great, initially provided by my viking friend, who led me through what felt the marsh of london transport; followed by the ladies, some red hair smiles, some pregnant, some practising motherhood with no children of their own

a bus ride, a good night sleep, a welcoming reception, a (few) glass of champagne and 6 thick (very) reading materials.....my company for the next month

evolution?

.....sent by an italian friend.....