does it ever arrive a time when...?

does it arrive a time when you are able to control yourself in the manner you had always wanted? a time when you are centered and manage to stay there for a while? when you, like in the japanese sport, use the other's energy to your advantage? when you consider than instead of erupting like a volcano as usual, you are able to control the internal heat and responded to provocation in a calm and diplomatic manner? when you are able to transform the harakiri and torturing wishes to an empathetic response that allows the situation to move on? when instead of pleasure giving images of boxing with your opponent (except it is one way boxing, against the other obviously) you have those images of paradise beaches or lakes that are supposed to inspire calm, accompanied by that (never) relaxing water sound? when you consider that after years of learning and trying, you have interiorised all of that in a way that enables outside change? or is it impossible to fight against one's nature?