things that you can't find

they either don't exist or they exist in such little numbers they don't amount to something worth counting
they are the ones that make the difference between what we call developed and underdeveloped
they include (the lack of) a sewage or a rubbish collection systems, a drivers licence, an established road conduct or street lighting, health and safety on construction work or food processing
they also include other things like atheism, women with trousers or set prices to name but a few

things that you can find

The sanity walk, that late afternoon walk that it's keeping me sane (I should not speak for others) it's full of surprises. I have been feeling too lazy and keep on making the mistake of not taking my camera with me, which I now regret. Today the list of bizarre, interesting encounters that grows each day had its newest addition: a tortoise. He (that's what we believe) was in the middle of the road, its shell worn out like old wood, feeling shy with the three strangers (us) that curiously looked on. He decided not to come out and say hello. I cannot blame him. He seemed to have the same opinion as the rest of people who we normally cross. They all look to us like we were freaks, i guess it's the combination of being white, female, wear trousers, and uncovered hair. It seems they are compelled to shout HOW ARE YOU? However, if you ask the question back, hardly none knows what to answer. Salam aleikum works a lot better (wa-aleikum-as-salam is what should be replied). The ones that are not bothered at all about our (or anyone else's as a matter of fact) presence are the camels. The goats don't seem terribly bothered either. And absolutely nobody, animals or humans, winks about the presence of what is left of a rusting anti aerial tank, its big cannon now resting peacefully on the grass.

the dilemma: the principle or the system

it's not that i don't understand it
i understand i am white, come from a relatively priviledge background and earn my salary in dollars as opposed to somaliland shillings
i understand that me being here it's business, for the very same reasons
i am more than willing to be 'cheated' upon, for the very same reasons
but i still find it totally unfair to be expected to paid double the real price all the time

i am not good at haggling, i don't like it, not even feel comfortable with it
in fact i rather pay what they are asking for rather than haggling
but paying double the price on a colour basis constantly, i also find against my principles
so i haggle, sometimes paying what they want, sometimes what the real price really is
in all cases i leave with a very uncomfortable feeling,
should i go against my principle and play the system or should i follow my principle against the system?

fridays like sundays are for recovering

yesterday was an exhausting day
a whole day workshop
sweating blood and tears to get somewhere productive

facilitating motivational challenge is like walking on eggs
they are good, they know what they want and how they want it
they are missing some tools but not the will

a sanity walk, a bit of yoga and a party
10 hours sleep, a late breakfast and some emails
feeling recovered and energised, like a new woman!

this is how it (doesn't) work

in order to find out what to do, you read
you read as many documents as you need to
but here is the catch
each time you pick up a document, you cannot tell which version it is, whether it's the latest, the one approved and agreed or the latest working draft
so you think, ok, i'll pick up another document, maybe this one will guide me better
except it doesn't, cos there is always another version and nobody seems to know which one it's the good one

i knew this was going to be my ultimate patience challenge

the sanity walk

i walk the 10 mtrs between my house and the car, i seat in the car to the office
i walk the 10 mtrs between the car and the office, i seat in the office
the way back is the same, the other way round
i can walk the 30 mtrs between my house and someone else's house, i seat in their house
the way back is the same, the other round
i walk between my room, the bathroom, the kitchen, the lounge, i seat in the sofa, i seat for breakfast, for lunch, for dinner

my life it's very very very very similar to that of other expats
so we have decided to go for a walk everyday, just an hour long, going to nowhere in particular, just in the oppossite direction to town, where the nomads come from, sometimes with an armed angel-guard to keep us, sometimes just us
we crave for open spaces, fresh air in our faces, the feeling of stretching our legs, of a bit of exercise and the break of sweat in our foreheads
we have decided to call it 'the sanity walk'

adjusting

my body is getting used to altitude and a new diet: 1200 mtrs, meat and watermelon
my mind is adjusting to this new very different reality: being driven around or escorted by armed angel-guards
my rutine is more or less already defined: driven to work, driven home, lunch, walk, dinner, TV, bed; some days crazy town market
my communications are still an issue being sorted out: having a landline a dream approaching reality, internet at home a dream
my work is still trying to balance out expectations, experience and expertise: the gap between written objectives and unwritten realities too wide
my network is still being filled: from the mix of countries, colours, languages and religions that three continents can provide

Limitations and constraints

Being new to a place means having limitations
Being new to a place like this means having extra limitations
In my case
there are limits to personal freedom, due to political and religious constraints
there are limits to mobility, due to (lack of) knowledge and security constraints
there are limits to personal interactions, due to language and cultural constraints
there are limits to communications, due to availability and connectivity constraints
there are limits to photographic possibilities, due to technical and cultural constraints

there are however, some photos I would like to share with you

good and bad days

you can think you do not have expectations, convince yourself that that is the case, but when it comes to it, we all have them, it's a human trait
you can think you know what it's normal, what it's polite, what is welcoming, what is correct, what is beautiful; and of course their opposites
you can think....

last time i felt this way I was 11 years old and didn't speak a word of english; at that time i felt awful for a month, the time I was in a complete foreign reality, without my 'normality'
that experience, although hard to live, changed my life and it was for the best

I now have far more experience, good analysis skills, enough space to take perspective on things and a bigger sustaining circle, there are however, some days better than others

How to explain, how to describe..

We live in a world made of parallel worlds, they run next to each other, the majority of times without touching each other
The length and depth of my ignorance blatant with every step; my parallel world never touched this one before
As my parents taught me, you do what you see and respect the local tradition; so here I am, fully covered, fully veiled, ready to learn


Hargeysa, what to say, how to describe it?The houses are one floor, there are very few buildings with two, three or four-maximum floors; many huts, made of any material the owner got old of, namely boxes, tree branches, bags, clothes. These huts are normally occupied by men chewing Qat, in what seems to be one of the main social problems facing the country.

The businesses are very small: a photo shop, a barber shop, a supermarket, a market stall, a pharmacy, a restaurant. The big businesses are the telecom company and the hotels, which cater for the many expatriates around.

It is a country of nomads and the main source of income used to be livestock exports; nowadays is diaspora’ remittances, which may eventually dry out, when as it happens in many occasions, the children severe the links, their country of origin became another one. In the capital however, there is from what I can tell, very little nomadic movement, although goats rumble freely across town, in what seems at times suicidal ways when they cross the roads.

Ah! The roads (not sure they should be called that)….they feel more like a bumpy ride. Although the colonial past is British, and therefore have UK-like plugs they drive on the right hand side of the road. Drivers must be alert at all times to both, the holes of all sizes and shapes (some of them could fit a person in them) on the ground and, to other drivers, honking being the road’s language. The cars, the great majority are 4x4s, come from China and Japan, with some exceptions that come from the UK, with what that means for the wheel’s position. The mini buses which work as official transports, that is if you don’t count the back of trucks or anything that can carry a human being, all have Chinese words on the side, and some terrible looking decorations on the side mirrors (I have yet to discover the use or reason).

It’s a 98% Muslim country. It is nice to hear the call for prayers. They call 5 times a day, although of course I don’t hear the one at 5am. Women are fully covered, the niqab being the preferred outfit; otherwise large and long dresses, accompanied by large and long scarves/ sarongs. Some men, the least, cover their heads. Many, both men and women, don’t shake hands with people from the opposite sex. The working week is 6 days, 8am to 2pm. The weekend is Friday.

My first hours

My research on the internet proved successful. I was prepared and had no expectations. It’s a poor country; a brownish colour landscape with bits of greenery and as usual the most colourful part is women’s dresses.

I was met in the airport by the organisation logistics man who managed to get me out of all queues in a nano-second. My luggage had arrived, in its totality and, safe; my relief as big and long as the journey.

I was taken to my Villa. That’s right; I have a villa in a compound, which at the moment is occupied by me and some passing travellers. At the end of the month it will be full of my organisation’s colleagues, each occupying a nice and big villa, fully equipped (TV, microwave, fridge, stove, hot water…) and in fact, bigger than some of my previous houses. The newly constructed compound has 7 villas, a woman who cleans them and a security guard with an AK-47, the people’s gun!.

tutto bene, tutto posto

despues de cuatro dias de viaje, tres aviones, dos hoteles
despues de hacer monton de filas, colas y esperas
despues de encontrar gente de monton de sitios
despues de haber perdido la nocion del tiempo, el espacio y el calendario

finalmente

he llegado!
he llegado a mi nueva casa, una villa entera para mi sola
he llegado a mi nueva ciudad, a descubrir toda
he llegado a un pais con sus costumbres, comidas y particularidades

finalmente he llegado

y tengo tanto por descubrir!